T.I.T.A.N. has unearthed a curious collection of notes in the library of the abandoned Unruh Manor house. Though concealed by a loose cipher pattern, we have been able to determine it is, or appears as, an extensive cataloguing of the day-to-day dietary habits of Mr. Chris Titan (who, as you know, has disappeared under mysterious circumstance). Of some particular interest is the Monday, July 24, 2006 entry, which is as follows:

Squirrel season opens in August so I was brushing up on one of my favorite recipes from Andrew McFing. I will generally hunt on the East Side of the Forest, as the West Side is protected with powerful squirrel voodoo.

Mr. Titan from this point details portions of an article on game meat, which we have lately relocated and link below. We were unable to source the exact title or index of the collection that the recipe for McFing biscuits was drawn from.

How Do You Cook Squirrel?

The time element, of course, is contingent upon having a good holder, someone to hold the animal by the back legs while the entrails are being removed and the four feet and head cut off (if the head is not saved for the skillet). I know, the notion that squirrel heads should be saved for cooking may bring about some cases of the “jeebies.” But there is a lot of good meat on the cheeks and the part of the head that joins the neck, not to mention a great little morsel of brain when the top of the head is cracked (usually with the handle of a table knife) after the meat is removed.

Squirrel heads, of course, are cooked just like the other pieces (six in all, seven if you cook the heads) on each squirrel. The components are the four legs, two back pieces (which contain the tenderloin), and the head. Most wild game eaters consider the back lets of the squirrel “top choice,” but I do not look down my nose at any piece of squirrel including heads.

So how do you cook squirrel?

Fried squirrel is a favored method with most wild game cooks, but they may be boiled (especially the older, tougher ones) and turned into a magnificent pot of dumplings. Then, of course, I do not have many guests leave the table when I present a platter of whole, baked squirrels with body cavities stuffed with my sage dressing. Nor has any of my guests ever complained about grilled squirrel (in pieces, parboiled in advance to assure tenderness).

McFing’s Cheese Biscuits

Cheese biscuit recipe made with biscuit ingredients, dry mustard, butter, shredded cheese, parsley, and a little milk for brushing biscuit tops.

INGREDIENTS

• 2 cups all-purpose flour, sift before measuring
• 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2/3 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• 3/4 cup milk plus a little milk for brushing tops

PREPARATION

Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, and dry mustard; cut in butter. Stir in shredded cheese, 2 tablespoons chopped parsley, and milk. Mix together lightly with a fork, just until moistened. Turn dough out onto a floured surface and knead gently a few times, until smooth.

Roll out about 3/4-inch thick and place on a greased and floured baking sheet. Brush tops with milk; bake at 450° 20 to 25 minutes, until browned.

Makes 1 dozen cheese biscuits.